


the color blue.

by bhubblemilk



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 11:59:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17849042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bhubblemilk/pseuds/bhubblemilk
Summary: Every kid has a fairy friend to guide them as they grow up. Jisung really thinks you are the best one.





	the color blue.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: This one-shot is super fantasy, magically based and I hope my writing skills can catch up to my imagination. (And also, in all honesty, as I was writing this, I strongly believed that there were times where Jisung was in fact, absolutely and truly in love with you).
> 
> Warning: long, feelings are probably all over the place and imagery might be too out of touch from reality.

Jisung never really felt much for the color blue.

In fact, his favorite color was actually red. But he never made that clear to the people around him. He had always worn dark-toned clothes, sets of black and grey. He did, occasionally, wear colored sweaters, but they were always of pastel colors like cotton pink or baby green. He never chose red for anything either, not the clothes of his teddy bear, not his bed sheets, not his schoolbag.

To sum it up, if Jisung has a favorite color, he doesn’t show it to people nor does he tell it to people. But he always knew his favorite color was red. Therefore, when it came a time you asked him about his color of choice, he wasn’t at all surprised. He was more surprised at his answer after you cut him off to tell him your guess.

“Wait, wait! As your fairy friend for ten years, this should be a piece of information I know! ” You held up your hand abruptly, a rare speck of golden dust being pushed off your skin and grazing the thin air, creating a scent of loveable familiarity. It was a smell that Jisung had encountered before yet whenever the fragrance hits his nose, which wasn’t all the time, it felt as if it was is his first time smelling it.

It was a refreshing smell, far better than the smell of flowers that had surrounded you two in the local park. He supposed it was what fairy friends make their assigned child feel.

“Your favorite color is blue!” You had yelled, and Jisung had stared at you with his hands around the metal string of the swing.

You were smiling, your fairy dust wasn’t falling from the huge curve of your smile but they might as well be. Your eyes, the same ones that Jisung could recall from the back of his head, sparkled with such anticipation and excitement that he could feel his heart weakening at the thought of him wiping away that proud smile of yours by correcting your assumption.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jisung smiled at you after a moment, “My favorite color is blue, I love that color.”

You squealed, a genuine sound that sparked a match in Jisung’s young heart, and you patted your chest confidently, “If you say so, Jisung! So long as your love for it last, the color blue will shine! I will make it shine in your world!”

And you did. Jisung thought it was all your doing, at least. But there was a possibility that he was doing it to himself. The fact that the color blue did look different to him after that day in the park, the fact that the color blue never felt the same to him as before anymore.

He was starting to see anything that was associated with the color blue. He found himself being overwhelmed by the infinity of the ocean, drowning in the freedom of the sky, and feeling every last bit of the tranquility of each mellow raindrops.

He saw blue in everything—denim jeans, sea-salt ice cream, the pictures on the walls of his school, a water bottle. He saw it everywhere, he was practically living in it. The once dull and overlooked color appeared brighter, it held more significance to his life now that whenever he looked at it, he was reminded of you.

Slowly and subtly, his favorite color turned from red to blue.

And you were the only one who knew.

“Jisung!” You waved when you finally saw him walking sulkily out of the front entrance of his school, yelling his name with an enthusiastic smile tugged at your face. Your arms were waving so frantically, Jisung could see the snow blue dust falling off, and this time it smelt like frozen ice cream.

When he approached you, the smile on your face dimmed a little before it got completely replaced with a concerned pout. Jisung’s lips were pressed into a grim line, much to your dismay, and his shoulders were slumped dreadfully that sent you shivers down your spine as if you could feel the negative energy radiating off from him.

“What happened?” You asked immediately, walking alongside him to the bus stop that will bring you two to the nearest stop by his home.

Jisung breathed out an exhausted sigh, “Nothing… it’s just… school. It has been kicking my ass lately.”  

You frowned. You knew Jisung. You’ve known him for at least ten years already, ever since you were assigned to be his fairy friend when he was five years old up until now when he was finally a sophomore in high school, and hopefully, even more years to come.

If you have learned anything from the past years, it was that while Jisung was a boy with immense talent in art, he wasn’t exactly someone who does well in the academic department. He has a knack for creating great tunes, but textbook studying just wasn’t his thing, not at all. And it wasn’t rare for him to leave school with his teacher’s harsh words hanging off his head.

This was when the fairy friend comes into play.

“Let’s destress a little then!” You smiled, jumping in front of him with sparkles in your eyes and a smile so wide that Jisung knew, he just knew, something magical was going to happen. And it did.

Large flowers with petals of all colors sprouted from the ground, raising up to sky level. Jisung gasped in fascination when he felt himself being lifted off the ground and up to a higher level. He held in a breath, closing his eyes tightly to avoid the strong wind. He wasn’t afraid of the height, not anymore. He trusts that you wouldn’t let me fall. He trusts that you would ask the sky to catch him.

When he felt the flower ground stable, he finally opened his eyes and glanced down at the blue petal he was stepping on before turning to look at his surroundings. His eyes brightened and he could not bring himself to stop smiling from awe.

He was surrounded by giant flowers that flew and spun about in the air, looking like ballerinas with puffy dresses dancing across the softness of the clouds. In front of the flower that you two were stepping on was a trail of even more flowers, each of different shades of blue that reminded him of things he had seen: his tenth birthday cake, his mother’s designated marriage anniversary earrings, his first crush’s Cinderella gown on the school’s Halloween party.

“Care to join me on a walk?” You asked, holding your hand out for him to grab.

Jisung chuckled as he took your hand, holding onto it tightly. He let you guide his first step onto another flower plane, stepping on its soft petals that were somehow able to sustain your two’s weight. Maybe it was your doing again, that he felt as light as feathers even with his heavy schoolbag on and that just a small gust of wind would throw him off the sky.

“Where does this go?” Jisung asked curiously, staring far off into the distance with squinted eyes as he tried to make out the end of the flower road.

“Anywhere you want it to go,” you replied, carefully walking him through the flowers before he learned to comfortably do so as if he was back on the hard ground.

Jisung giggled, “Surprise me, (Name). Like you always do.”

His wholehearted giggles warmed you up in ways no imaginary places ever could and you were glad that you were enough to make him forget his problems, even if it was only for a split moment.

Well, a split moment to you but this was a lifetime for Jisung.

These weren’t the kind of experiences that Jisung was able to create for himself. These were yours, these were all your doing. He just happened to land a fairy friend who could put forth their imagination, he just happened to land a fairy friend who fit him so well.

He happened to have you, who knew he likes to draw with shooting stars and dance on rainbows, and actually gave him the opportunity to do so.

You are absolutely magical, and Jisung felt lucky that you continuously gave him the chance to experience phenomenal events that will stay with him for the rest of his life.

* * *

“Okay, so this article says that there is a slight chance that Jake was never in love with Brett and in reality, he was only in love with the idea of being used to being in love,” you informed before grimacing.

You would never understand why schools make kids read these types of stories and expect them to resonate with the characters on a personal level when all they give the kids are stress and stress.

Jisung dropped the translated book onto his messy desk and covered his face with his hands, rubbing his palm down to express his exhaustion at the confusing story and his utter lack of interest in whatever his literature class was trying to teach him.

“God, this is… ” Jisung scowled to replace a word he didn’t have the strength to bother to find, “I mean, don’t get me wrong, reading is fun. But as soon as I have to do it for a grade, it takes away the fun of it.”

“You have to do it, Jisung, you need to cling onto any points you can get now or else your grade will drop,” you reminded, placing his laptop aside on the bed and leaning against the wall with your legs stretched out.

Jisung rolled his eyes, “I know, but it’s easier said than done. I’m just not good at taking tests, and also the materials hardly get into my brain even if I study extra hard.”

“Yet you are able to memorize lyrics and choreographies,” you pointed out with a raise of your eyebrow. When Jisung turned to look at you with an expression that screams for elaboration to whether you meant for your statement to be insulting or encouraging, you waved your hand dismissively.

“All I am saying is, I don’t want to push you, Jisung. I am just telling you to try and keep your grades the way they are now and if you can’t, that’s fine. Cut yourself some slacks, you’ve got other talents, like being able to get familiar with a song’s rhythm along with its components, and being able to execute them perfectly,” you said as a matter of factly.

Jisung started to fidget with his fingers, a shy smirk appearing by the ends of his lips upon your compliment. He soon got off his seat and went over to his bed, where he plopped down next to you.

Slapping your hand on top of his, you continued, “It’s not something everyone can do. Textbook materials can be taught, but stage charisma? You either have it or you don’t. It’s raw talent, you’re amazing, Jisung.”

Jisung’s face reddened. He squealed at your compliment, lying his head on your shoulder and hitting the side of your arm sheepishly. He was really happy to hear your words because it confirmed that someone believed in him, someone approved of his hobbies and believed that he could make it. His art can make it.

“I think you are amazing too,” he said after he quieted down.

You laughed incredulously, “Huh?”

“I think so… actually, I know so,” he said determinedly, “What you can do is incredible.”

“All of us have enough ability to do what I can, the universe itself handed us his power to create those things. It’s not that special,” you shrugged, causing Jisung to gasp.

“Yes, because creating a dimension that doesn’t exist is just so easy!” He exclaimed as he moved away to look at you with disbelief, maybe even a hint of envy. “Have you seen what you can do? All those little worlds you make for me? They are…” Jisung’s hands flail about his side as he searched his vocabulary bank for the right word to describe your magic.

His arms dropped onto his bed as he puffed his cheeks. Damn it, words used to be the one thing that comes easily to him, but now that he has to put his feelings about you into syllables, he was suddenly having difficulties?

“Do you remember For You?” He asked out of the blue.

You nodded, “Of course, always. I loved that song, do you want me to bring it to you?”

Jisung nodded without reluctance, waiting for you to wave your hand around or snap your fingers so he could see magic happen before his very eyes again. No matter how many times he watches you tear up the reality in front of him and bring him a step into the imaginary one, it would never be boring for him.

However, out of everything that you do, what you were about to give him was something he had always held just a little closer to his heart.

Jisung was a boy interested in music, that certain form of art held great importance to him and had unarguably changed his life the way your ability had helped him as he grew up. You were the first person he showed his music to, and you still are the only person he felt comfortable enough to display his true self to.

It was always different than dancing choreographed steps or singing someone else’s lyrics in front of people. His songs were his, he made them, and they were so valuable to him because they signified who he is as an individual.

Sometimes, he’d like to think your magic works the same way too.

You did something the first time he pressed play on his laptop in his dimly-lit room (he had wanted the darkness to cover his bright red blush of nervousness). He still remembered wanting to immediately close his laptop and pretend nothing ever happened, that he never showed you anything, but you had stopped his anxiety from getting the best of him by giving him your honest opinion in the most beautiful way possible.

You changed the scenery of his room, more specifically a scenery that reminded you of his song.

You had brought him somewhere else. You had sent him to an abandoned island with waves as blue as the sky and you had brought him to run on the fresh surface of the sea with dolphins swimming at his side. And he had felt like he saw a side of his song he didn’t realize it has the potential to have.

Ever since that, it had become a routine for you two. Jisung would show you a song he made and you would show him a place he had never been to before, a place that you felt resonates with the song.

Jisung looked around him as the view of his messy room got covered by the sight of an orange sky and the bright sun, half of it being covered by the tip of the mountain far away. Both you and he were sitting on the edge of a peak now, your legs dangling over the calm waterfall as you both faced the blinding sun.

“Is the sun rising or setting?” Jisung asked after a moment of silence, looking over to you.

You hummed, “I meant for it to be a sunrise. The song is supposed to encourage you, it gives you the idea that you’ll always have new days coming that you can fulfill. Nothing is ever over yet and something good will happen eventually.”

A soft breeze blew across Jisung’s face and he nodded in agreement. He had intended for the song to mean that, and he was glad his message was able to go across without any misconceptions. Looking around him, his eyes widened so he could get a clearer look at everything around him—from the blue roses on the trees to the slight fog in the sky.

This place was detailed, from the structure to the atmosphere. The humidity, the sound of the current, the swaying of blue petals from the wind—a lot of little things that Jisung would probably overlook if he was in your place.

He was often put in a state of awe at how you always make sure to give him an experience that was realistic despite you two never really exploring too much into the places you have ever created.

“I love them, all the things you do for me,” Jisung spoke quietly as he circled his arm around yours, leaning against your shoulder affectionately with a pout. “You always make my day, I don’t say this enough but thank you for everything.”

You smiled, “Thank you too, Jisung. Not all the kids are great with their fairy friends.”

Jisung’s bottom lip jutted out further, a small frown etched on his face. He was upset that he could understand why, he had always known people are creatures who will always take things for granted and he swore to himself he would never become one of those kinds, especially not to those who treat him well and love him through everything.

You kicked your feet high then, startling Jisung who was busy looking off into the sunrise. You stood up, dusting off your jeans and looking down at him. You reached your hand out, helping him up before pointing down the waterfall.

Jisung tilted his head to the side and his eyes widened in surprise when suddenly, the shallow water that you two were just sitting on thickened and he could feel the current push against his ankle. More water flowed down, creating notable splashes at the end of the pool.

You grinned, “Do you want to go down a waterslide?”

Jisung raised an eyebrow. Looking towards the direction you pointed at, he immediately found a long trail of fresh blue water that connected itself to the peak, just by the end of his feet, and the rushing trail moved downward in a spiral. There were green vines around the side, acting as fences of the waterslide.

Carefully, he leaned over to see but all he could see was the steam that was coming up from the end of the waterfall. Jisung moved back, looking at you with furrowed eyebrows but also excitement sparkling behind his eyes.

You held out your hand, prompting him to join you. And Jisung did, he always did and he always will, no matter where you go in this world. He tightened his grip on your hand, feeling reassurance course through his veins when you returned the action.

“Where does it end, (Name)?” Jisung asked, a smile already present on his beautiful features.

You giggled back at him, “Wherever you want it to end, Jisung.”

* * *

You immediately hid behind the wall of his school gate when you saw Jisung came out of the school entrance with someone unfamiliar. His face was flushed, her hair was long and flowy, and you were more than curious to who the giggling girl walking next to him was.

Jisung had never talked to you about a potential crush before, and maybe she was just a friend but the blush that was evident on his cheeks made you believe otherwise and you wanted to laugh at how awkward he seemed as the girl rambled on and on about something you couldn’t hear.

You thought about whether to step in or not, but you supposed awkwardness ensues when you are with someone you like and when you don’t quite know what to say that wouldn’t make you come off as either dumb or uninteresting.

Turning around, you quietly darted towards the other side of the street before Jisung could see you so to let him have his time alone with the girl.

You could always meet him at his home, which took Jisung about an hour to return to. After he kicked the door open harshly, something akin to anger shown on every inch of his face as he threw his schoolbag down and got onto his bed, where you were lying with a bored look on your face. He grabbed the pillow and smacked you across the head.

“Where were you today? I waited by the gate for you to come and you never did!” Jisung complained, setting the pillow down on his lap and pressing his fists into the softness of it, pouting at you.

You rubbed the spot on top of your head, an innocent look on your face, “What? I thought you were going home with someone else! I didn’t want to disturb you so I left first.”

Jisung tilted his head to the side in defeat, “We always go home together, (Name). When have I ever went home with someone else?”

You grumbled a little, “Well, I didn’t know, I’m sorry. I just thought you wanted to spend time with the girl I saw you with today,” you muttered sheepishly before slowly, you inched closer to him, staring right into his eyes with anticipation. “So, who is she? Tell me everything!”

Jisung’s face reddened slightly at those unfairly bright eyes of yours and he cleared his throat to get himself together. He looked away briefly, scratching the back of his neck, “She’s just a new transfer. The teacher asked me to give her a tour around the school so I did, to leave a better impression since well,” he turned back to you with deadpan eyes, “Apparently my grades aren’t good enough to satisfy them.”

You ignored his sarcastic remark and pumped your fist in front of your chest, “So? Did you use your dazzling personality and dashing good looks on her? Did she seem flustered to be around you?”

Jisung pursed his lips together as he grumbled shyly, playing with his fingers with his head hung low. You have got to stop complimenting him with that casual tone of yours. Having the knowledge that a person he held so dear to approves of everything about him was sending his happiness off the chart.

“I don’t know, (Name), probably not. She can’t like me yet, we’ve only just met each other!” He exclaimed, waving his hand in front of your face to slow you down before he let his body fall onto the bed and he hugged his pillow close to him.

You joined his side, looking at the white ceiling with him for a moment before turning to him and calling out his name softly. Jisung replied by looking at you, his gaze hardening as a way of him urging you to continue.

“Silly question, but what do you think love feels like?” You asked in a whisper.

You two were communicating like two kids who were trying to keep their conversation down in the middle of the night during a sleepover, completely deprived of sleepiness and instead got hearts filled with the desire for adventure.

Jisung hummed. He wasn’t sure of it. The closest example he has to love were either from cheesy scenes in movies or his parents. One was too unrealistic, but the latter was too far into a relationship that the sugary phase was long gone. Jisung thought maybe it could be something in between?

“I think love makes you feel… light?” He started, sighing thoughtfully, “Like you’re in space where there is no gravity and you are just flowing freely about. There are no boundaries to how far your feelings can go and there is also a sense of thrill to it. It is something out of place, something that keeps you up at night because of how weird it is, but once you get used to it, you’ll be fine and you’ll love it.”

You hummed understandingly. Something like space huh? You poked Jisung’s cheeks to get his attention. When he looked at you questioningly, you grinned at him, “Get ready to float!”

A wave of black washed over his eyes, causing Jisung to shut them tightly. He felt the bed surface leave his back and his back arched at the unusual position of his body. Oh, he was floating in the air, he could feel it. And when he opened his eyes, he knew he would be faced with the galaxy.

A large hue of blue wrapped around his body, cradling him for a moment before it faded into dust and disappeared into the dark sky. Jisung exhaled carefully, admiring the red-gold star clusters that shone around him, the hues of purple and blue that looked as soft as clouds, they surrounded the glittery rocks.

They all joined together and painted the black sky so prettily.

“Woah…” he exclaimed under his breath, reaching out to touch a small star and finding out how light they really were, that a mere push was able to send it flying away. He watched after it, recalling the moment he got close enough. He swore he heard it speak to him, something inspiring, something comforting.

“Don’t push it too hard and create a false shooting star,” you appeared beside him and said.

Jisung turned over to look at you, eyes wide in utter amazement, and he squealed, “(Name)! How do you do this! I love–wow, I am flying amongst stars right now and no one will ever believe me.”

You giggled, “Every kid has their own share of stories to tell, Jisung, yours just happen to be going to different places.”

Jisung was too in awe to give you a full retort, he only waved his hand a little at your direction, “Yeah, whatever. I am in outer space, you can try and top that.”

You shook your head in defeat, smiling widely as his awestruck state rubbed off on you. Jisung didn’t speak for a while, busy taking in everything that was surrounding him. Every color, every shape of the stars, all the far-off planets he could see and every piece of heightened emotions he was feeling.

Eventually, his eyes landed on the Moon, and he smiled.

“(Name), let’s dance near the moon!” He suggested, but he was already grabbing your hand and leading you over, leaning his body forward and flapping his free arm.

He stopped when you two were close enough. Jisung smiled up at the giant gray circle, having plans to step on it soon after he did what he really wanted to come here to do.

“How do you suppose to dance, Jisung?” You asked curiously, flapping your arms as if to make a point. “We are barely floating to where we want to go!”

Jisung rolled his eyes at you as he grabbed a hold of your hand and twirled you around slowly. “Any way we want to do it, (Name), we can do anything we want here!” He replied, bring you along with him as your two flew about the area in circles, twirling and spinning together with giggles of blue dust being brushed off your skin.

A shooting star flew past you both all of a sudden, and Jisung was quick enough to pull you close so you wouldn’t bump into the giant object. You looked past his shoulder at the star, a smile playing on your lips before turning back to face him, your hands unconsciously moving up to rest on his shoulder.

You giggled, “That was fun, isn’t it? Oh, I loved it, we should do it again sometimes.”

Jisung stared at you, at your smile, at your eyes, at your mind. He had it all stored in his brain, from the blue dust that rolled down your chin as you giggled, the warmth of your hands, and exactly how contagious your happiness was. He had it all memorized, the way you made him believe in anything and everything.

He nodded then, not being able to fight off the laugh that bubbled up his throat when he heard yours.

This was fun.

And maybe he was right, perhaps this is what loves feels like.

* * *

Jisung and his new friend from school had gotten closer and you were glad that he finally has someone he could talk to you about. You loved hearing their stories from school since it wasn’t a place you were able to go to.

Not that you wanted to, the idea of school was stressful enough for you simply by looking at the amount of work Jisung has after school. But you also wanted to meet other kids, to relate to them and to plan friendly dates with them.

Jisung got to do it, more and more as days passed by. Meeting his new friend had led him to gain his own circle of friends at school, and needless to say, he seemed satisfied with the people he has right now. And the more he spends his time with them, the less he spends his time with you.

Without yourself knowing, your life had grown to evolve around Jisung alone, which you were completely fine with. This was supposed to be your job. But it does get a little lonely when he’s at school, or with other people, and you were left to your own devices.

You had been having more time to yourself and your own little worlds.

You picked up a crystal that had dropped onto the ground and examined it briefly before throwing it up the sky and letting it be with the other diamonds in the sky. Once again, you were left to explore your own world despite already knowing everything about it. A cloud of fog followed behind you closely and you had been attempting to ignore it.

Jisung was starting to grow more and more independent and you were proud of him, you were happy that he was getting outside of his own comfort zone. But you were also slowly going away too, from his needs and his wants, and eventually his circle of friends, and you couldn’t stop the dark mold from growing in your chest.

“(Name)? (Name)?”

Jisung’s voice tore a hole through your world and you quickly closed it down, bringing yourself back to reality, which was his bedroom. You landed on his bed, sitting up quickly as you looked for Jisung’s presence, “Jisung? What happened?”

Rapid footsteps could be heard from down the hall and Jisung came running back into the opened room, his frantic eyes paused at the sight of you and he breathed out a sigh of relief inwardly. Taking big steps, he walked over to you and immediately wrapped you in a tight hug.

You pressed your lips into a thin line as you hugged him back, confused to his sudden action, “What happened?”

“I came back from school and couldn’t find you in my room, I thought you went somewhere else,” he muttered under his breath.

“Where would I go?” You asked, laughing a little to lightened up the sudden tense mood.

“I don’t know, somewhere better than here?” He pulled away, his lips arched downwards as he suggested.

You grimaced. You couldn’t think of anywhere better than here, this was where Jisung is and that was really all you need.

Wow, your life really does revolve around this boy, doesn’t it?

“I got you a gift, for your birthday today,” you sheepishly said after pushing your thoughts away, looking at him with a tilt of your head.

Jisung blinked a few times as a small smile appeared, “Really? What did you get me?” He moved away from his closet and approached you.

You bit your lower lip as you reached behind your back, where out of nowhere, you pulled out a glass vase that contained the blue petals that Jisung recognized as the ones from the flowers on the trees by the waterfall.

“(Name), I didn’t know you’re the type to pluck petals off flowers!” He exclaimed as he received the vase carefully, looking down at the faint glittery blue petals that continued to shine even being out of their natural home.

You rolled your eyes, “Only for you, Jisung.”

He smirked at your sarcasm and thanked you for the present, even though he had repeatedly told you not to get him anything for his birthday because honestly, haven’t you given him enough? Smiling up at you, he took a step forward and once again, wrapped you in a tight hug.

“Thank you, I love it,” he said, staring down at the ground with an unreadable expression. “And it’s cheesy but I love you too and I’m really glad I have you in my life.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise at his words. Jisung had never said them out loud before, but you had always been able to feel it somehow, in one way or another. The gratitude and love circle around the comfortable tension between you two all the time, whenever you both hang out.

“All I did is give you flowers, Jisung, you don’t have to go all out like this,” you jokingly said, pulling away to see him scoffing straight at your face. You laughed, pinching his cheeks and pulling at his baby fat, not being able to resist his adorableness. “I’m kidding… I love you right back.”

Jisung flicked your forehead with his free hand before he moved back. You rocked back and forth on your heels as you watched him put the vase on top of his clothing shelf, feeling giddy that he chose to put it on display. “So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?” You asked.

Jisung’s parents were never really around much, and they never had the time to plan him a birthday party, so you’ve always been the one who spends his birthdays with him. You two never planned anything, though, anything that happened was all spontaneous and definitely elicit jumping hearts and creative minds.

There was something about trusting someone enough to just go with the flow for everything that makes your hearts warm a little.

Other than that, his birthdays were also the only days you two would attempt to cook for yourselves, to make the day more special, in a sense. They usually end in disaster, though, and Jisung would complain about how your magic doesn’t always come in handy.

He didn’t mean it, of course, and you knew. The times he had professed his admiration about your magic greatly outweighed the times he complains about it.

Jisung let out a yell of realization then, “Ah, right! I am actually heading out to dinner with my friends today! You should tag along, come with me!”

Your heart dropped a little but you willed yourself to be more optimistic about this situation. His social life was expanding and it will help him in the future. As much as you wanted to be selfish about this, you’ve got to remind yourself that this was great for him, and your purpose was to make sure his teenage life goes well for him until he could finally take care of himself.

“I’m good, we’re not really supposed to interact with anyone outside of the assigned ones,” you shrugged with a smile on your face, “You have fun at your birthday party though.”

Jisung’s shoulders slumped faintly, the action was so small that you didn’t have the chance to notice it. This would mark the first birthday he spends without you and in all honesty, Jisung wasn’t sure if he felt any good about that.

“What are you going to do then? Do you have anywhere to go?” He asked, trying not to sound as if he was prying.

You let out a short chuckle, “Oh, you don’t have to do that. Us fairies sometimes meet up with each other and we just chat about each other’s lives, I’ll go see if someone else is celebrating a birthday too.”

“Oh…” Jisung mumbled a little, “Well, I hope you have fun with your friends.”

You faked a smile. Friends, huh? You didn’t have those. Jisung was the only one you’ve got, and sooner than later, he might not even be one anymore.

* * *

Jisung had never mentioned anything about entering an audition before, even though Korea was known for putting out high-quality idols. He always thought that the training was a drag and with all the negative news surrounding the gut-wrenching process, Jisung wasn’t sure if he was one to be able to handle it.

But the success, the approval, the love and accomplishment that comes with being able to do what he loves? It was tempting, very tempting.

“Daeun asked me to audition with her for JYP today,” Jisung said as he leaned back against his chair, cranking his head over to look at you, who simply stared at him back.

“Really? Did she see you dance? That’s why she had the thought?” You asked, shifting your position on his bed and reaching out to grab a plushie, hugging it close to your chest.

Jisung pursed his lips together as he looked away, back to his Math worksheet. You could see a small hue of pink tinted on his cheeks and you raised your eyebrow in further curiosity.

Jisung let out a quiet, strained noise before he spoke, “She did, but I also showed her my songs, and she said she loved them!”

A spark of proudness manifested within your chest and you quickly reached in to pull the positivity up, stomping down on the fear and jealousy that lingered at the bottom of your heart in the process. You smiled, sitting up and moving closer to the edge of the bed, “Really? Which one is her favorite? Does she have one?”

Jisung hummed then, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully before he turned back to you, smiling wide, “She said she couldn’t pick one.”

Ah, he looks like he’s mildly in love and you could understand why.

You had never interacted with Daeun before but if you were to be shallow and judge only by looks and your assumptions, her gorgeous features and gentle movements would make you fall in love too. She was the type of girls you would root for as an idol, the member that sticks out.

And by the sound of it, she seemed to have taken a good liking to Jisung too, so not only was Jisung heading towards the right direction on his music career, his love life wasn’t doing so bad either.

Push it down now, (Name), push the bad thoughts away.

“Ah, fair enough. They’re all pretty good,” you nodded understandingly. Hugging the plushie closer to you, you said, “So what do you plan to do about the audition?”

Jisung’s eyes rolled to the side in thought as he exhaled deeply. Having someone to accompany him certainly made the trial less nerve-wracking, and besides, he didn’t make the initial decision. Someone else had encouraged him to try it out, so to some degree, he must have potential.

“Maybe I’ll go, I’ll try it out and see how it goes,” Jisung replied, nodding firmly. “I just hope I don’t mess up on the day and completely embarrass myself.”

“Oh please, you won’t, I know you won’t,” You waved your hand and said, “Have you thought about what you want to show to the judges yet?”

Jisung shrugged, “No, but I will whip up something before next week comes.” As soon as his voice trailed off, Jisung’s shoulder slumped and his expression turned into one of exhaustion.

He already got enough school work, having to find time in between to prepare a performance was definitely going to crush his sleep schedule. Not to mention his parents had just had a pretty strict talk with him about his falling grades that did not live up to their expectation so now he’s spending extra attention to his schoolwork too.

Noticing the aura around him change due to the downward quirk of his lips and the knit of his eyebrows, you dropped the plushie on the side of your crossed leg before getting off the bed and approaching Jisung.

When you were within reach, you pulled him up by his arm and pulled him to the middle of the room, where you urged him to lay down on the carpeted floor with you. A moment of protest sounded from the back of Jisung’s throat, telling you he really needed to focus on his homework, but when you held his hand tightly, he closed his mouth.

“You can open your eyes, but you might have to adjust to the view a little,” you whispered, giving his hand a squeeze.

Jisung nodded, choosing to close his eyes and letting himself sink into whatever was coming at him. It took a short second before he felt himself free falling downward at a slow pace. His clothes stuck to him immediately and he felt warm water pricked at his skin as well as engulfing his whole body, running into his nose and his ears in a way that gave him an uncomfortable sensation, but he eventually got used to it.

Jisung opened his eyes slowly, feeling his eyes sting for a little before they got used to being underwater. He breathed normally, bubbles flying up in front of him with every long exhale. The calm current of the ocean flowed past him as if he was just another animal it brushes past every other day.

He looked at you, at your faint smile that was displayed for the small fishes that swam past and the beautiful algae that danced to the rhythm of the sea, and Jisung decided it would be okay for him to lose himself in the moment too.

When you turned and met eyes with him, you softened and smiled a little wider as a way of asking for reassurance regarding Jisung’s well-being. Jisung could only nod, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles as a response.

It was a valid answer, you knew what he meant, you always did.

He swam closer to you, keeping your hand in his by enclosing his fingers around it. At the same moment, the current of the ocean pushed onto the both of you, bringing you two closer to each other until, at a certain distance, Jisung turned and laid on his back, tempting you to follow his action.

You two laid side by side in the middle of the quiet ocean. She opened its arms and cradled the two of you, wrapping your small figures in a comforting embrace as the sun from above shone a warm ray of light down at your faces. The light was bright but not blinding, and it moved with the surface of the sea.

Jisung listened to the muffled sounds of moving water and felt the motherly touch of the ocean. His eyelids dropped a little, getting more and more drowsy by the second, but the strength he used to hold your hand never faltered.

This was a kind of calmness that no one was able to give him. If anyone else held his hand and told him to lay underwater with them, he would outrightly refuse. It has to be you, only you could take his stress away and give him a sense of safety like no other.

Before he shut his eyes completely, the sun shone directly at his eyes for a brief moment and he saw blue, a beautiful shade of blue, and he breathed out an airy laugh for an unknown reason.

* * *

Jisung had jumped at you with his phone in his hand when you appeared by the corner of the streets after he had called your name out loud, a little too loud that you could hear him from a mile away. You were actually starting to worry since Jisung never just suddenly calls you in the middle of the afternoon, especially not as he was getting off school.

“I got in! I got in, (Name)! They recruited me!” Jisung exclaimed, jumping with his arms wrapped around your neck.

You wanted to calm him down since he was literally leaning his full weight on you without any kind of support, but you just had to celebrate with him on this. He was one more step into his dream path and you were just so glad and so proud of him.

“That’s great! I knew you had it in you!” You said as a matter of factly, pulling away.

Jisung grinned, his eyes swirling with the stars that he had probably stolen from one of the galaxies he saw the day you brought him to space. You just wanted to pinch his cheeks and kiss him all over and tell him there would be more good news to come, that he is set on to the right path.

“This calls for a celebration!”

Jisung snapped his fingers, “Oh, right, I am celebrating with Daeun and the group today. She got in too!”

Your smile didn’t fade, “Tell her I said congratulations. Anyway, still, this calls for my kind of celebration.” You brought your hand up and snapped your fingers, waiting for the field of sunflowers to appear around you two.

Jisung looked around him, his excited expression soon turned into a frown as he turned to you. Your troubled expression worried him. “What happened?” He asked, watching as you snapped your fingers again but with more force this time.

The worlds are not tearing opening. You could feel the spark against the tip of your fingers but nothing was happening, the gates weren’t opening for you.

Your magic was diminishing slowly, ever since the day with the ocean, who was already generous enough to do the job for you by luring both of you to sleep with its own lullaby so the holes back to reality would be invisible to Jisung’s eyes and you wouldn’t have to feel the weights of rocks on your head.

The inevitable was inching closer, and way faster than you hoped for it to come.

You chuckled lightly, “I think I got a little after sleeping in the snow. Must have been the cold.”

Jisung raised his eyebrows at your answer andhis caring instinct kicked in. ****Quickly taking off his school sweater, he slipped it over your hand, knowing you would refuse his offer. “(Name), who sleeps in the snow? No wonder you got sick!” He scolded, flicking your forehead.

You smiled apologetically in return, scratching the back of your head and not making a sound.

“Go home, make yourself a cup of warm tea and wait for me, I’ll buy us both something to eat as night snack!” He said **,** grabbing a hold of his backpack strap as he backed away from you with a cheeky grin, “I’ll see you at night, (Name)!”

You waved at him meekly, watching carefully that he was finally out of the area before looking up at the sky. There it was, the opening to the world of bright sun and pretty sunflowers. The zip was uneven and definitely not in the right place.

Snapping your hand again, the tear disappeared and you breathed out a quiet sigh.

Jisung was growing up all too quickly. He has his own friends and he knows what he wants to do now. He is growing up, and you’re slowly going away.

* * *

Your magic was getting worse and you felt the need to tell Jisung about your condition. You had thought about it, long and hard, about whether it was best to keep your future disappearance a secret to him and let the universe does its job, or would it be better that you tell him about it so he wouldn’t be too emotional about it when the day does come.

Because there was no guarantee he could have his last goodbye.

For now, Jisung still thinks you were sick and he was okay with it. He didn’t like you simply because of your magic, he wasn’t about to turn his head as soon as you stopped being able to do them. In fact, he had taken care of you as much as he could, always looking at you with those big deer eyes of his that just melts you away every time.

“They are really talented, wow,” you complimented after looking at the dance practice video Jisung showed you of him and his group of friends at the company.

“I know right?” He grinned proudly in response, feeling chirpy about how he seemed to be getting better and better when he was under the care of a group of people who just constantly surprise him with their talent.

You heaved a sigh. You have to tell him. “Jisung, there is something I need–”

The door opened and someone peeked their head in. You looked away quickly but you listened in on the conversation.

“Jisung, we have to go to the meeting room. I think it is about something with the showcase.”

“Oh, okay, just give me a second,” Jisung nodded, in a tone that was kind of shooing his friend out of the room. When the door was closed, Jisung turned to you, putting his phone into his pocket, “Can you wait here for a while, I will be right back!”

You felt your heart lightened up at the opportunity to give yourself an excuse to push back on telling him the truth and maybe even to think over it. You nodded with a grim smile on your face, which Jisung mistook as you getting tired from being sick, and waved at him as he walked out the door.

The practice room was empty, with you sitting in the corner at the wall at the back, under the giant logo of the entertainment. You glared at your mirror self, repeatedly telling yourself to put on a smile and until you do, you would not stop burning holes at yourself.

Tears rolled down your cheeks silently and faded into blue diamond dust before they could reach the ground. Perhaps you were lonely, you had been for the past months, and perhaps you were afraid.

Your breathing hitched in your throat violently and your chest ached, a kind of pain that felt like someone snuck their hand around your heart and started to dig their nails into its flesh. It was vivid and very much real, you also knew it to be a sign of the weakening of your condition.

A sob broke past your lips and you quickly bit onto your lower lip to suppress it. The pain means something good is happening to Jisung, and you could deal with that. You were willing to deal with that.

But damn it, you could hear the fear in your head crawling and crawling. It wasn’t even here because of death, it was the fear of leaving Jisung and not being able to see him again, it was the fear of being completely replaced.

You laid down on the floor and closed your eyes, trying to block out the noise from outside and inside the room. The air flowing past was surprisingly overwhelming for you during this vulnerable moment. Finally calming down a little, you sniffed in a hiccup and hugged yourself close, drifting off the sleep as you waited for Jisung to come back.

He did, quietly so. His mouth clamped shut as fast as he had opened the door, and the great news that was hanging at the tip of his tongue disappeared when he saw your curled up figure on the ground.

He slowly walked over to you, crouching down and saw that you had your eyes closed with small breathes being puffed out your lips. Maybe he was being dramatic, but it felt like you were having a hard time trying to breathe, and worry coated his inside like fireflies to the grass in the forest.

Jisung brought you up gently by your head and placed it on his lap. The two gleaming trails that went from your eyes to your chin and the lingering smell of frozen ice cream in the air gave him enough indication to what had happened when he was away.

He gently ran the back of his index finger down your cheek, wincing and frowning at the roughness of the line that your tears had run past. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized, brushing away a piece of hair, “I would make you some good porridge if I know how to. But I don’t, so I guess I’ll just learn.”

But was it really just about you being sick? You cried because the pain was too much, but where did the pain come from? Jisung couldn’t be so sure and he hated that he wasn’t able to tell.

A knock came at the door and Jisung knew it was time for him to head to training lesson. He called after his friend before glancing down at your sleeping figure. This should be fine, you could stay here and he would come back when he finished.

Bringing you up to his chest, Jisung pressed a kiss to the top of your head and soothed down your hair. “Stay here for a little, I’ll be right back, I promise,” he whispered before laying you back down on the ground and draped his jacket over your body.

You opened your eyes a little, your lips arched downward so bad that you felt like you were going to cry again. And this time you were sure it was because you really didn’t want to leave Jisung. But the universe is going to keep turning and you don’t have a choice.

* * *

Jisung was planning to confess. He told you about his plan… well, he told you about the dare his group-mates gave him as a very harsh encouraging shove to his back, telling him to just confess his feelings to Daeun once and for all after the showcase ends and only if their producer chooses for their group to debut next.

“So you are going to confess,” you said.

“Yeah, but only if we get chosen,” Jisung pointed out.

“Right, so you will confess,” you repeated again, looking at him knowingly, and Jisung could only smile at your words. “How do you plan to do it? Do you think maybe some fireflies would be nice? In a pretty, refreshing forest under millions of stars?”

You sucked in a deep breath, preparing to max out your strength for the scenery, but Jisung stopped you quickly by grabbing a hold of your wrist and dropping your hand on the bed.

“It’s fine, you’re still sick, you don’t have to do it,” he said.

You pursed your lips. He still noticed, huh, even though you had been more cheerful than most days. You really thought he wouldn’t notice much, even with the absence of magic. You were really hoping he wouldn’t notice you much so your going away could be as quiet as possible, just a slip from the fingertips and you would be gone, and Jisung would continue on with his life without any traces of you in it.

And then he would forget, slowly and surely, like how kids forget about growing up as they go through the process itself.

“You can use the blue flowers I gave you, just make them glittery. Here, I can teach you–” You gestured towards the shelf where you thought the vase was placed, but the spot was taken by something else. A small, decorated standing chalkboard with a polaroid clipped on top and doodles on the bottom.

It was red, from the lining of the board to the words at the bottom.

Jisung looked over to where your eyes were focused at and he opened his mouth to speak, a noise came from the back of his throat first before he got up a little, pointing at the object, “Ah, that was Daeun’s birthday gift for me–uh… I put yours in a box, um…”  

You were too tired to feel bad about it anymore. You were more amused, if anything, as you looked at Jisung’s flustered state. Blinking slowly, you calmed him down, “Jisung, can you turn off the lights for me.”

He paused for a moment but nodded, getting out of the bed and walking over to the other side to flip the light switch off. The room instantly went dark, with no light seeping through the curtains whatsoever. Touching the wall with his hand, Jisung carefully made his way back to the bed, his steps tentative before his leg met with the edge of the bed, and he slumped down onto the cover comfortably.

You put your hands together and closed your eyes, channeling as much energy as you could for the fireflies that carried the colors of rainbows at their abdomen. Releasing your hands, you placed your palm skyward and let the stars of the milky way go, adding more light to the dark room.

Jisung crossed his legs across from you, his hands around his ankle and his head cranked up to look at the flying creatures and the gleaming stars.

“Jisung,” you started, “I’m going to leave.”

He turned to you, a smile on his face, “Leave? To where?”

Your hands trembled at his cheerful state. You couldn’t tell him, not when he’s all smiles and happy. “Somewhere, to get this weird sickness away so I can do better magic. I’ll… I’ll be back eventually.” You replied.

“Aww, so you won’t be at the showcase?”

“No, I would be there. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. I’ll just leave after that sometime, probably.”

Jisung pursed his lips together. Should have known human remedies couldn’t fix your kind, it was understandable. “Okay,” he hissed gently, moving forward to wrap you in a hug, “Please get better, you look awfully tired, it’s like your stamina is being drained from you.”

You pursed your lips together and pressed your cheek to the side of his head, nodding in response, “I’ll miss you, Jisung.” He seemed to have hugged you tighter with your words and you too, held onto him.

The colors in the room changed all of a sudden, from a pit of galaxies to a simple baby blue. It reminded Jisung of your fairy dust, and the sparkling tear stained that he once saw on your cheeks. His expression softened into one of sadness upon the sight of his favorite color, and he inched his body forward so he could give you a more fulfilled hug.

“You’ll come back quick, right? You sound like you’re never returning or something,” Jisung mumbled, “Don’t you pull that stunt on me, (Name). I won’t hesitate to kick your ass.”

You chuckled lightly, “Worry about your showcase, Jisung. It determines your future.”

He nodded, “I know. You really think I’ll get through?”

“Always.”

Jisung paused for a moment, thankful but also alert that you had changed the subject quickly. He patted your back and asked again, “You won’t disappear for like, five years, right?”

“Wouldn’t even think about not do,” you replied, but your voice was barely audible as if you’re lying.

* * *

You were nowhere to be found when the showcase ended and Jisung had doubted you were actually there in the first place. He was feeling a little heavy-hearted and he had made a few mistakes during rehearsals because of the weighted emotion that was dragging him down. However, under the encouragement of his friends, he made it through successfully.

And at last, his group did get chosen to debut.

He had tried to find you outside the venue after it ended, thinking maybe he wasn’t able to find you because you were placed at far back and the sea of people had covered you up entirely. But still, you were nowhere to be found.

With a defeated sigh, Jisung turned to his last resort, which was you being too tired to stay in a crowded place so you chose to wait for his news at the usual place, waiting for him in his room, eyes on a comic book you picked out from his shelf.

His friends found him when they all returned to the company building. They were all teasing giggles and playful shoves as they dragged him up the stairs to one of the practice room, where they had asked Daeun to stay in, all so Jisung could carry out the dare in peace and quiet.

Well, peace and quiet after he embarrassedly shooed everyone away from the window of the door.

Jisung had never confessed to anyone before, at least not in a romantic light. He stuttered and laughed awkwardly, making too many movements with his hand that Daeun had to step in and finish his sentences for him, ending with a confirmation that she too wanted to test out a relationship.

Jisung’s eyes sparkled, “Woah, thank god, I was about to explode. Oh, (Name) is going to be so proud of me!”

Daeun raised an eyebrow, “(Name)?”

Jisung waved his hand dismissively, “Oh, they’re just my fairy friend.”

“Oh really? Yours is still here? I thought they all die out when we turn into teenagers, in this century, of course, we’re all pretty independent, in a sense.” Daeun said in amazement and her surprised tone almost sent a shock wave to Jisung.

Jisung laughed a little, his hands reaching down to meet each other and his nail started to slowly scratch on his skin. He breathed out a fearful laugh, “Uh… what do you mean?”

Daeun frowned, she tiled her head to the side and eyed Jisung once, “You don’t read a lot of books do you, non-fiction ones?” Upon Jisung’s lack of response, she continued.

“Well, I don’t remember anything about mine, but there are books that contain information about those kinds, all from kids who keep detailed diaries,” she raised an index finger, motioning her circling thoughts by moving it in a circular motion. “When the universe believe that a kid is ready to take care of oneself, their fairy friend will fade away. It was recorded that their magic diminishes when the time approaches and they’ll get alarmingly tired.”

Daeun’s brows furrowed when she returned her full attention to Jisung, who was visibly shaking with his eyes wandered off into space. She seemed to have gotten a sense of what was happening, and knowing how emotional Jisung could be, she took a careful step forward in an attempt to comfort him.

“Hey, Jisung, you don’t have to worry,” she said, “Your memories of them will be erased as time pass until they are completely out of your life. It would be like you have never met them.”

“I’m…” Jisung huffed out anxiously, his eyes darting everywhere in the room.

You weren’t sick, were you? You were leaving him, you were–oh god, you told him about this, you told him about going away. He didn’t catch on. You lied to him about coming back. You lied. Maybe you were already gone.

 _No, no please don’t be gone._ Jisung stepped back, “I-I need to go… I–” He dashed out of the room without finishing his sentence, running forward despite hearing his name being called repeatedly.

 _D_ _amn it, (Name), don’t pull something like this on me._

_Please._

He pushed open the glass door of the entrance, sparing the sky a quick glance.

Oh, it was beautifully painted with gold and blue by the sun and the night. It was such a beautiful sky, and it was about to be the worst memory Jisung could ever have.

* * *

The pen in your hand dropped when you heard the front door outside burst open. You tiredly looked over to the door, hearing as Jisung stomped his way into his room and finally revealed himself by the doorstep. When he saw the sight of your weak figure sitting by his desk, his eyes widened tearfully.

“Oh, Jisung, I’m so sorry–” You were cut off when Jisung grabbed your hand and quickly pulled you to him. He went toward the window and shut the windows and the curtains as if it could block you away from the eyes of the universe so it wouldn’t take you away.

You sighed tiredly. He found out, didn’t he? That was the kind of weird thing only he would pull. Tugging at his sleeve, you turned him around and reached your hand out to his forehead, closing your eyes and mumbling something under your breath.

“No!” Jisung yelled, grabbing your hand and pulling it away. He looked at you in the eyes, haunting you with their bright gleams. “You’re trying to take my memory away, aren’t you? You have to erase yourself from my head, right? I heard–I heard every–Daeun told me–”

You shook your head, your shoulder slumping further and further down as your eyesight blurred. You weren’t sure if it was from tears or death. “No, I could never. I was only trying to make an illusion. The universe will tweak your memories.”

Jisung growled impatiently, and angrily, under his breath. He turned around to open the curtain, “Well I don’t want to forget! I don’t care about what the universe wants to do with my destiny but my memories are mine! They are mine, you can’t take them away from me! Do you hear that? You can’t take them away from me!”

Your head hung low as you held onto your side, “Jisung, please.”

He looked behind his shoulder and he pursed his lips in defeat when he saw you. Knees weak, chest heaved, and blue dust falling off your body at a rapid speed.

This is really happening. You’re leaving, you’re leaving him.

Jisung let a sob past his lips as approached you. He brought you close to him and inched both of you towards his bed, sitting down with you in his arms all cradled up. You laid your head on his shoulder, feeling his tears stain the skin of your cheeks and your eyes.

“Can you stay here for a while, just a little while,” Jisung asked, not daring to look at you.

You nodded weakly, feeling your life being drained away. “Please don’t think this is your fault,” your voice was dry and airy when you spoke, “you just grew up. Don’t ever punish yourself for growing up.”

Jisung gulped, pulling you up so he could press his lips to your forehead and never let go, at least for as long as he could. He didn’t do this enough when he had the chance to and now it was all too late.

His gentle touch brought you a sense of longing and you felt yourself tearing up in fear. The idea of Death never intrigued you much, but it was scary now that it was really happening.

You breathed out, “Where do I go? Where do you think I’ll go after this, Jisung?”

“Anywhere you want to go, (Name). Anywhere you want to go.”

You smiled, “I… I want For You…”

“Okay,” Jisung brushed your hair away with his hand and let it stayed at your cheek as he mumbled the soft tune and the lyrics to your ear, rocking you back and forth gently.

You smiled at his humming voice, something you used to always hear when you two were simply laying around in his room. It was nostalgic and you missed it, a lot. Your head fell to his side and your eye-lids fell slowly, you could the end approaching.

“Jisung…” You spoke on last time, “Remember the color blue.”

“Mmhmm,” He nodded, pressing you close to him until he couldn’t feel you in his arms anymore. He inhaled deeply, squeezing his eyes tight before looking down at the blue petals that were the remnants of your existence, laying across his lap.

He picked them all up and stood up to his closet. Opening the door, he reached to the back where he pulled out a box. The vase laid inside, and he pulled it out, adding your blue petals inside and held onto it quietly.

The blue gleamed stronger when his tears fell inside, touching the broken flowers. A fragrance, the smell of ice cream, spread from the petals to outside. Jisung chuckled.

This was what you want to show him to give to Daeun, the shinning blue petals that appeared more haunting to him now than ever.

Turning around, he went over to his desk. He tidied it up quickly, throwing away the papers with messy doodles and putting away the scattered pencils. He gave your vase a spot neat the lamp, setting it down neatly so he could look at it every day.

He won’t forget, that he loves the color blue.

And so long as his love for it last, it will shine.

You will shine.

* * *

Life had been treating him fairly well after that. If anything, Jisung almost thought that maybe it felt guilty of taking the most precious thing away from him. His music career was going splendidly. Being on stage was his dream, and he achieved it. He had held concerts with his friends and been on broadcasts.

And there are times when he gets nervous, he thinks of the soothing current of the sea and the wide blue of the quiet sky, he thinks of the worlds you had held in your gentle hands for him, and he would feel like he is charged with an unknown energy that pushes him to do anything.

Surprisingly, his love life with Daeun also did not receive as much backlash as everyone thought. People were actually supportive of it, that a power couple had risen at such a perfect time.

Jisung thought it was your doing.

And most importantly, despite the laws of the universe, Jisung never forgot you. He suspected it has something to do with the color blue.

Some people have things to remember their friends by, but those things are often discarded at some point and will be forgotten. And most people will be left with a shell of their memories.

This is where Jisung believed the universe has a flawed system. How could it only erase their memory with time but not their feelings? What are people supposed to do with the nostalgia that hits them out of nowhere? Calling it deja vu and letting it go is just… not the best option for him.

Thank god he never had to go through it.

Because the color blue kept you in his mind. Unlike a small keychain or birthday card, the color blue is everywhere. It is in the sky, in the ocean, in his sweater. The color blue is in space, in his notebook, in the corner of his desk and the corner of his memories.

It kept you in his life.

He talks about you, all the time. Your name often slips into the conversation all the time, like you two were old friends, and he supposes you two were. Friends that had loved each other a little too much, and met an end a little too tragic.

Daeun knew Jisung never did forget you, and she just has to put up with the fact that he never will, that you will always be a huge part of who he is, and that a large piece of him will forever belong to you.

“Uh, hold on, can you just take that off the bill?”

Jisung raised an eyebrow at the familiar voice, he looked to the young person in the front with curiosity. “Do you need help?” He asked, deciding to take the initiative since the suspense was killing him.

You turned around and his eyes widened. Glaring up at him was none other than his past fairy friend, but very much human in this life. Your hair, your eyes, the quirk of your lips—Jisung had to ground himself down so he wouldn’t jump on you, or as to everyone else, a teenage kid.

“No thanks,” you replied quickly before turning back to the cashier, who stood there in awe as she stared at Jisung.

He could only smile as he moved closer to you. He dropped his grocery on the line and gestured toward the cashier, “Just count them together, put them in separate bags though.”

You glanced at the cashier as she quickly moved to work with a blushing face and you looked back at Jisung with curiosity laced in your eyes. “Who are you and why are you helping me?”

Jisung chuckled, ruffling your hair and earning a light smack. He tilted his head, “My name is Jisung and, and well, I guess it’s because you look like my fairy friend.”

You clicked your tongue at the mention of that, looking away with a frown that Jisung was quick to notice. He urged you out to the end of the line and gathered everything, bringing the plastic bag to you.

“Why do you look angry?” He asked.

You side-eyed him before you sighed, “I had a fight with mine. I think he hates me now.”

Jisung shoved his hands in his pocket, “I don’t think they ever hate you, really. Mine didn’t hate me, and yes, I am sure of that.”

You looked down at the ground, “You still remember them?”

“Oh, very vividly. I think about them every day, all the time,” his voice trailed off as he stared at you, with a kind of nostalgic remorse that sent you a wave of unknown sadness.

You huffed, “You two must have really treasured each other then.”

“We sure did, they gave me the world. I can only hope I did the same too,” he muttered.

Glancing at your saddened expression, Jisung stopped in the middle of the street and placed his hand out to you and you curiously reached your hand out to them too. He placed something in your palm and closed it.

“Ask them for their favorite color, (Name).”

You looked at him weirdly, “Firstly, that’s my name so, uh, creepy. Secondly, you’re lame. Who asks people for their favorite color anymore?”

Jisung pouted, feeling defeated that he got called old so straightforwardly. He shook his shoulders, smiling down at you, “Just trust me, okay? If it doesn’t mean anything to you, fine, just use it as a conversation starter!”

You hummed, rolling your eyes a little but you took his words to heart. Again, Jisung was looking at you with a weird kind of tenderness that you couldn’t place your hand on, and weirdly, you didn’t feel at all scared in his presence.

“Live your life, (Name), do whatever you want to do. Take care of yourself and be happy,” he advised gently.

“Uh… okay… um, thanks for the… grocery,” you said, raising the plastic bag in your hand.

Jisung grinned down at you. He stumbled back when he saw that his bus had just driven past him. “I have to go now, I hope to see you again, (Name),” he waved at you before turning around to catch the bus.

You wanted to run after him but instead of listening to your mind, you went with something else. You called after him, “Wait! So what is your favorite color?”

Jisung turned around and opened his palm. You caught the signal and opened yours to find a blue glittery petal lying there, lively and vibrant despite being crushed by your palm. You huffed out. This didn’t really give you a clear answer, did it? But when you looked back up, Jisung was already gone.

He shuffled past the people and went upstairs, where there was space for him. He sat down and pulled out his wallet, smiling down at the same blue petal that he had stored in the picture frame area.

Jisung’s favorite is blue. He tells everyone else that it is red but it is blue, it will always be blue.

And yet again, in another lifetime, you are still the only one who knows about it.


End file.
